Changing Change

"Shell can you do me a favor?"

"Sure," I said to my mom. I stopped where I was and turned around wondering what it was that she wanted me to do this time.

"Can you take those lamps downstairs for me? I would do it, but my knee is killing me today," my mom said as she wiped down the counter of the kitchen.

"Yea. Sure. No problem," I said looking at the lamps. 

The lamps are gold. Not a weird or dull gold, but a shiny perfect gold. They kind of look like a vase if you look at them straight on. They have the shape of one at least. Big, shiny, gold, vase shaped lamps. Come to think of it, they are kind of gaudy looking. To be honest, they are kind of ugly lamps. 

They are the lamps I have always known though. Is that weird to say? I think that may be a little weird to say. But, it's true. Before we moved, they were the lamps that were upstairs in the living. They sat on either side of the couch. They were always there. 

When we moved, they came with us. They sat on either side of the couch once again in the new house. They've just always been there. I've always seen them in the room, and I haven't even given them a second thought. They aren't my lamps, they are my mom, which is why it's fine that she decided to replace them. But for a brief moment when I stared at those lamps sitting next to the basement door, I almost considered asking her to put them back. 

I'm not afraid of change. I'm not one of those people that hates when anything is different. Sometimes, I even embrace change. But, I've had a lot of change lately. I got diagnosed with a back problem. I learned to adjust my life to make it less painful. I lost my Grandfather. I graduated from high school. I moved to college and spent a year away from home. Got used to it. Five people pasted away in four months last spring, including a women I long considered a grandmother. I moved back home. I adjusted to being home again. I started a different college. My sister got married. I finally got a brother with that deal though. My dog passed away. I got a new puppy. I got a new job. 

A lot has happened in the past two years and I've done my best to keep up with the constant changes happening in my life. Now I've been out of high school for two years and my friends are changing, becoming beautiful, intelligent, wonderful young women. I'm making new friends at a different college and at work now. I'm changing myself. 

Once, I used to think I hated change, but I don't. I don't like it at first. It makes me a little uneasy, but once the change has begun I've learned to run with it and see where it takes me. Usually, change happens and it's for the better. I still haven't seen the better part of losing someone you loved though. 

Change happens though. You can hate it. You can love it. You can accept it, or you don't have to. But one thing is for sure, it happens. Either accept it or don't but don't stand in the way of it, else it will just knock you off your feet.

Lucky Leaves

Yesterday, my family had a cook out. My family came over as well as my friend Megan and her family. During the day while we were cooking food and getting everything ready, my dad came in with a glass of water. I looked at him as he held the glass out to me. 

"No thanks. I'm good," I said pushing the small glass away. 

"Look what I found," he said shoving the glass in my face again.

I looked down at the small glass and a dark green stem stuck out of it. Attached to the thin stem were four leaves. I shook my head. A four leaf clover. 

My mom walked over. "Where'd you find that?"

"The backyard," he said putting the glass down. "Must be my lucky day."

Today I took Baker outside. While he was doing his business, I looked down at the patch of clovers. I thought about the weekend I spent in Indianapolis a few weeks ago. My Aunt Marie let us stay with her for the weekend. She took us downtown to the Riverwalk and to see the city. While we were there she stopped and started searching through this persons grass. My mother, Linn, and I kept walking. We sat down on a bench. 

Linn looked over at my Aunt. "What's she doing?" Linn asked as my aunt hunched over the patch of grass.

"Probably looking for four leaf clovers. She does that," my mom said.

I laughed thinking it was a joke, but a few moments later, Aunt Marie came walking over with a small green clover between her fingers that proudly showed its four leaves. 

I starred in disbelief. "How did you find that?" I asked.

"She finds them all the time," my mom said looking up at the trees.

"I do," Aunt Marie laughed. "I don't know. It's weird. Once you find one, you find them all."

I had laughed at her then but as I was thinking of the clover she found, I noticed a small clover with four leaves. I hit it gently waiting for another clover below it to pull away and take away the allusion of four leaves. Another clover didn't pull away though. I stooped down and picked the green clover and sure enough it had four leaves. I smiled. "Must be my lucky day," I said to myself as my dog came running up to see what I had found. 

When I was younger, I used to say, "I love the smell of rain and thunderstorms."

My sister would wrinkle her nose and say, "You like the smell of worms?"

Scared of a Little Rain

I love Thunderstorms.

My first dog, Shiner, didn't mind them when she was a puppy, but once she turned four or five she started freaking out when it stormed. She would pant like crazy. She would run around the house and try to find a place to hid. She would follow you everywhere. Once she started losing her hearing, she suddenly didn't care again. Probably because she was blissfully unaware of the storms. 

Gunner is now seven. When he was a puppy, he didn't mind storms either. He used to watch Shiner run around like a goof. Now, he is starting to hate storms. Tonight, when it started storming he got really antsy and kept walking around. Now that its night time and it's storming really bad, his tail is down and he is scared. I picked him up tonight and held him real close. I told him, "It's okay Gunner. We won't let anything happen to you. You are safe." He calmed down while he was in my arms, but once I put him down he went back to being a mess.

Currently, my other two dogs are laying next to me, passed out. They could care less. 

It makes me think about the cycle of life. Not just with dogs, but adults too. As puppies or babies we don't care about the storms. Once we get a little older and we start noticing the storms, we are frightened. I know I was when I was little. I used to have to sleep with my parents or sister when it stormed because they scared me so bad. Then once you get older, you see that they aren't really that scary. Though the one doctor my mom works with would disagree. He got hit by lightening. 

I'm not scared of storms anymore. I think they are beautiful now. I love watching the rain come down and bounce off the ground. I love hearing it fall and the sound of each drop hitting. I love thunder as it rolls across the sky. I love when its dark out and the lightening suddenly lights up the sky and the world is bright for one brief moment. I love the smell. The smell of the world becoming clean once more. The smell of the water washing away the day and the dirt and making everything fresh. 

I love Thunderstorms.

To Whom It May Concern

Last week, I took my Aunt Mary to the laundry mat so that we could wash her comforter. This was a sign on the change machine. It made me chuckle.