Rest In Peace Shiner <3
I miss you so much

Old at 14

Today my dog threw up all over the kitchen floor. Today I yelled at her. Today I took her to the vet. Today I waited for her blood tests and xrays. Today I found out she has kidney failure. Today I found out she has 2 weeks to live. Today I found out we are putting her down next week. Today I remembered the good times. Today I remembered the bad. Today I regretted yelling at her. Today I kissed her head. Today I drove her home. Today I cleaned up the kitchen. Today I cried.

Tonight I'll lay awake crying. Tomorrow I will cry as I look at pictures. Next week I will cry as we put her down. After some time, I'll stop crying. Eventually, I'll accept her being gone. Never will I forget her.

Overdrawn Accounts

     Today I came home from class to find a letter from my bank in my mail box. I opened the letter thinking that it was only a list of the activity from my bank account. Upon opening it, I realized it was nothing of the sort. Instead, I found a letter telling me I had overdrawn my account.
     I stared at the letter in confusion. I hadn't used my card for at least two months and I don't write any checks. The only thing I did was pay my a credit card bill online through that account.
     I began looking at the list of purchases I had apparently made at Walmart. $70 dollars here. $180 dollars there. I stared at the paper. Holy shit!
     I called my mom and told her about the overdrawn account. I was so upset. I had to pay $350 dollars to pay off the overdrawn money and then the fees that accompanied it.
     My mom goes, "Uh...I think I might have used your card by accident. This might be my fault. I'm sorry..."

     Thanks Mom. Thanks so much.

Happy Birthday

Today is my Uncle Miles birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Today is my cousin Enrico's Birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Today my Great Aunt Mary turned 93!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I called my Aunt Mary to wish her a happy birthday, and during our conversation she said, "It's who you know and who you blow!" I almost died laughing but it was wonderful! These are the moments I will remember

Cancel This Call

    I let the dogs in and quickly put my shoes on. I slip on my coat and grab my keys off the kitchen table. I throw my bag over my shoulders and reach for the door knob when the phone rings.
 
    I stop.

    I turn and walk around the table to the phone. I reach and pick up the phone and hold it in my hand.

    I stop.

   If it's someone from my family I will be on the phone with them for a while and be late for class. If it's a telemarketer than I can hang up and still make it to class. I think about who it might be before setting the phone back in the holder and walking towards the door again deciding its best to just let the machine get it.

   I'm about to open the door when I realize it could be my mother, or father. It could be a family member with an emergency. Perhaps someone got in an accident, perhaps someone died. I wouldn't know. I hesitate at the door until I finally grab the knob and turn.

    I have the door open when the machine picks up. I hear my father's deep voice begin his monologue. "Hello. You've reached the Borings..." he says to the caller. I'm on the first step. I step again and my dad continues his speech asking the caller to leave a message, and assuring the caller that we will get back to them if they leave their number.

    I turn to close the door behind me when I hear the machine kick on and a familiar voice replace my dad's. "Peggy. This is your Aunt Mary from Pennsylvania. It's one o'clock in the afternoon and I just finished eating my lunch. I had..." the voice keeps speaking but I've closed the door. I can still hear the cadence of my Great Aunt Mary's voice through the wooden door.I shake my head and walk away from the stairs.

    Aunt Mary is my 92 year old great aunt on my mothers side. She was my grandmother's sister. Aunt Mary had a twin sister who passed away when I was eleven, her name was Margaret. We help my Aunt Mary out a lot around the house. Normally, my mom and I go out grocery shopping for her, and then help her around the house when we drop the food off. She's a remarkable women, and looking back, the one think I will always remember about her someday are her phone calls.

    They normally start out with, "Peggy. This is your Aunt Mary." Following this she usually tells us the time and what she just finished doing. Sometimes, if we don't pick up the phone, she gets angry and says, "Cancel this call," even though she could have just of easily hung up the phone without leaving a message. She usually tells us about her day in her messages. She tells us what she ate, how she prepared her food, and what she did all day. Sometimes, she calls and tells us about my mom's cousin Billy. Occasionally, she will call and complain about the family. She tells us about what she read in the newspaper. She tells us about the pain she gets in her tailbone. She tells us about her life, because she, well, she doesn't have much else to do.

    We get a kick out of her messages, though sometimes they are ridiculous and pointless. Usually they are pointless. But, she means well, and I think she just needs someone to talk to. If that someone is our answering machine, then so be it. I will always remember the messages on our answering machines left by my Great Aunt Mary.

The Red Ball

    After a long day at school, I walk to my room and throw my books and coat onto the end of my bed. I greet my dogs by calling their names in a friendly voice, and scratch them behind the ear. I walk from my room down the short hallway to the living room. My dogs follow me. I fall into the easy chair and pull my legs up, curling them beneath me. I grab the remote and turn on the tv, searching for a show to watch. 

    As I flick through the channels, Brandy jumps up in my lap and begins to lick the side of my face. I laugh and rub her ear, giving her the attention she wants. She settles down and sits beside me in the chair. I finally find a show. 

    After a few minutes, I hear a whine. I look around. Shiner is sleeping in her bed, and Brandy is sitting in my lap still. It's Gunner. I immediately know where he is. I know what he wants. My head falls back hitting the cushion behind me. I close my eyes. I sigh. 

    Without even getting up, I can picture him by the bar. He is sitting between the couch and bar.  His eyes are big and he is looking up at the sink to the bar. His short tail is wagging back and forth quickly against the carpet. His heart rate is increasing a little, and if I don't get up soon, he will whine again. If I wait a few minutes, he will walk around the end of the couch and stare at me. He will look at me as if he is a child on Christmas morning waiting for his presents. If I wait even longer, he will run from the bar to me. Even after that, he will not give up. He will begin to whine louder as if I do not hear him already. Then, he will bark. If all else fails, he will walk over, jump on my lap and stare at me straight in the eye. He will not give up. He will not give in. He will have his way.

    I sigh again before getting up. I walk around the couch to see Gunner sitting by the bar like a dog begging for a treat. He is not begging for a treat though. He could care less about treats. He wants his ball. Not any ball, his red ball.

Gunner sleeping after a long night playing with his red ball